my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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