Your mouth is God's brothel.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
