i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
