how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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