who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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