garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize