...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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