I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
