You can't special order awesome
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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