glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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