The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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