i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
