I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
