no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
