How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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