their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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