textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Drake has all the answers
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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