The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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