i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
