the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
