she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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