I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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