Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
