Your face is a jimmy john
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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