all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
