my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
