Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
