so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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