I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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