What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize