You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Don't EVER smell your tampon
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
