he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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