I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
