The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
