At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
