he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
