The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dicks are not precious.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
