This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
