I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
