So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
