A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
