He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize