she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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