At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
