I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize