He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
