So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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