I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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