Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
