how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
