Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
