I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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