Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
