I wish I only lived at night.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
