Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
