that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
