i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
