so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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