I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
His hands were made for my vagina.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
