Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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