She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
