I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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