I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
