Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
