I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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