it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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