just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
