How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
