What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
