My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
