ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
