Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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