Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
