At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm too high and old for this...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
