She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize