next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
