i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize