I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
